Read Penelope's column in San Diego's The Light Connection

Hi! Penelope here. I've created 52 Transformational Tips. There is one for each week of the year to help you create the life you deserve. Here's an audio sample of the tips for you to download.

Each tip, which takes only about a minute to read, is designed to create a transformational experience for you. All you need to do is print out the tip, and post it someplace where your eye will fall upon it daily for a full week. These tips will give insight for your conscious mind, your inconscious mind, and your superconscious mind. Here are 5 tips which I would like to share with you.

Transformational Tip #27 Need

Do you have a hard time asking for what you need? Many of us ignore our needs; secretly hoping someone else will figure it out, so we won’t have to ask. We think, if I have to ask...it spoils it. Or, if I ask for what I need and don’t get it; it means I was wrong to ask at all.
    Here’s a tip. Check out whether you believe it’s ok for you, self reliant as you are, to have needs. If not you may not realize needs supply crucial intelligence about what’s required from ourselves and others to keep us healthy and happy. If you want to discover what need is trying to get your attention, take a look at what isn’t working in your life. Then begin some sentences with "I need" and see what comes to mind.
      Be prepared. Acknowledging needs opens the door to feelings of loss for the times your needs weren’t met. Allow time to grieve and heal.
     When you’re ready to take care of yourself, proclaim to the universe, "I deserve to have my needs met". Whether or not anyone hears or responds to you immediately or not; you’re creating the self confidence to ask for and get what you need.

Transformational Tip #17 Expectations

Are you a prisoner of your expectations? Expectations make us victims of perpetual disappointment. When we approach any experience or event with expectations ; we end up so busy comparing the reality with our mental picture; we don't even see, let alone savor, the delights right before our eyes.
      Here's a tip. Begin by separating goals from expectations. We all need goals to guide our actions. The problem is we become attached to specific outcomes; closing off all options except the one we expect.
      Remember a time you were really elated about some experience? Accidently stumbling on a great restaurant, solving a problem with a fresh insight, surprising a doe and her fawn on your morning walk, looking in someone's eyes... discovering a mutual spark. What do these events have in common? They were all unexpected!
     Look inside. What expectations are holding you hostage, now? See if you're willing to open to the challenge that life can touch and test; excite and delight you in ways you couldn't have imagined? If you're ready, let go, breathe, hold those expectations lightly, and get ready for a surprise!

Transformational Tip #20 Love

Are you getting enough love in your life? Most of us long for more love than we're getting, even when we're in a committed relationship. And how we yearn when our partner isn't around; imagining the pleasure we'll share when we're together! Ever notice how quickly that loving feeling can disappear the moment your beloved walks in the door? We're suddenly shy, scared or find ourselves very busy downloading a computer file.
      Here's a tip. You don't need to worry about where that feeling went because... it'll be back. If you'd like it to come back while you're partner is around; you may need to plan for some "love time": time to be quiet together, time to take turns putting your head in each other's lap to have your forehead rubbed and hair stroked or time for massaging each other's feet while you talk and share thoughts and feelings.
       We humans are pack animals. We need to be in physical contact with each other to feel safe and connected. When we're safe and connected our longing flows into the love we desire. Try it, you'll like it!

Transformational Tip #6 Pleasure

Want to find more pleasure in your life? Too many of us are focused on the negative aspects of life. We're great problem solvers. No sooner do we have one problem solved, than we're looking for the next. We replay our mistakes... coulda, shoulda, woulda. We walk around with subtle hostility, anxiety or depression dragging us down like a chronic low grade fever.
      So what do we do when something good happens? Too often we can't let go and really enjoy it. We may not think we deserve it, or we're uncomfortable with how pleasure feels. Maybe we're afraid to really experience it because we know it won't last.
     Of course, it won't last. Change is a part of life. Like the tide, pleasure ebbs and flows. All the more reason to focus on it when it is here.
     Here's a tip. Begin by actively looking for good experiences. Start small...the smell of fresh coffee, a friendly face, inspiring talk radio, a tender touch. Once you've actually noticed something positive take at least 10 seconds to focus on how it feels. Breathe...relax. When we feel good, our body's own pharmacy provides a natural high with no side effects. Next time try 20 seconds. This could be habit forming! Accentuate the positive. You deserve it!

Transformational Tip #10 Who Are You?

Who are you? The answer may surprise you! We all have many inner voices...parts of ourselves which compete for control of our lives, our selves. Everyone is familiar with a voice of self discipline. Whenever we resolve to change a habit, begin a diet or start a new exercise plan; we think, this time I'll be victorious! Soon you find yourself feeling burdened and defiant about your own, self imposed restrictions. There's a fight. You versus...you. Your disciplined part vs. your rebel. Depending on who wins you may face a guilty part, judging part, or your successful self. Will the real you please stand up?
      Here's a tip. Your real self includes all of these parts and more. Begin developing awareness of each inner voice, each part...moment by moment. Step back whenever you have inner conflict and... listen. Without judging, hear what each voice is trying to say. Ask each part, especially those you dislike, what do you need? Self discovery is about revealing true needs and values. You may discover you can't stick to a diet just so you'll look good, but you can when your health is the focus( or vice versa).
      Stepping back and increasing self awareness enables you to discover who you really are. Once you connect with what really matters to you, you'll find the motivation to achieve your goals.

Transformational Tip #30 Do You Know Which Muscles Make Sex Better?

   The first muscle essential for great sex is the heart. Keeping your heart toned involves working out with communication skills. Sharing real feelings with your partner, both positive and negative, helps keep your hearts and bodies open for deep connection. When your heart is engaged each touch is electric and it's easier to surrender to love and ecstasy.
   The second indispensable muscle is the pubocoxxygeal or PC muscle...sometimes know as the love muscle. Just as men and women both have hearts, they both have PC muscles. The PC muscle is the one we use when we stop or interrupt the flow of urine.
   In men a strong pc muscle gives superb ejaculatory control and enables them to ride that exquisite edge of pleasure as long as they like. In women a well developed PC muscle gives easier access to orgasm territory and increases orgasmic intensity.
   Strengthening the pc muscle for both men and women requires daily practice of contracting the muscle in various ways. These exercises are called "Kegels" and you can do them when you're on the phone, while you wait in line, in your car, or right now while you're reading this tip. As we age the pc muscle is crucial for maintaining sexual vitality. Have fun! Be creative! Discover your own ways for working this all important muscle.
   Lovemaking is an art that begins in the heart. It requires awareness, information, skill, and practice, practice, practice.

Transformational Tip : Talking to Teens

Would you like to receive a new Transformational Tip each week?

Send a check or money order for $5 to:

Transformational Tips
c/o Penelope Young Andrade
P.O. Box 721831
San Diego, CA 92172

In order to receive your weekly tip,
please include your email address.

Penelope's Bio   Broadcasting   Transformational Tips  

Vivo™   Bio-Psychosynthesis   BodyMind Counseling   The Store